The reason we’re dredging up all of Meredith’s questionable choices is because, yes, my friends, we’ve made it: Today is the day Meredith Grey faces the Medical Board and they decide if she can keep her license or not. The hearing, held in the ballroom of a hotel, gets off to a terrible start, which you probably guessed would happen based on the 349 episodes prior that detail a myriad of terrible things that happen to our heroine.

This one is pretty bad: Meredith learns that one of the doctors on the panel who will be deciding her fate is Dr. Paul Castello. Also known as the man who was too busy to order a CT scan that would’ve saved Derek Shepherd’s life. Of course the man who killed her husband would reappear on what could end up being the second worst day of her life! To make it worse: He doesn’t even remember her. They could ask to appeal the trial due to conflict of interest, but that could mean waiting another six months for a ruling. Another six months of Meredith in medical purgatory. Meredith is fuming, but is under strict orders to be still and shut up.

Things go downhill fast. The first witnesses are Bailey, who acts as if she just met Meredith and answers questions with no emotion or context (even when they bring up the LVAD wire! The goddamn LVAD wire!); Gabby’s father Luis, who is actually great up there as a champion for Meredith; DeLuca, who is quickly outed as having a relationship with Meredith and for, oh yes, that one time he reported the attendings — specifically Meredith — for sidelining him after he charged Alex with a felony FOR BEATING HIS FACE IN (sorry, they just don’t bring that up enough), so his testimony is garbage; and finally Schmitt, who eventually testifies that he was the one who noticed Ellis Grey’s name on Gabby’s medical bracelet and told Bailey, not thinking it would get Meredith in trouble. Schmitt’s so upset about it — and later, he gets ostracized by his fellow residents when they learn the truth. He was just doing his job, people, yeesh.

Everyone is upset, really, because, as Alex tells the group of doctors waiting outside the room for updates, the whole thing is “a crap-pile of crap.” Oh, Alex, never change.

The 15-minute recess helps exactly NO ONE, but especially not Meredith, who is freaking out and tells DeLuca that this might be her last day as a doctor and if that’s true, their relationship is as good as done. There’s no way Meredith could be with him if he could be a surgeon and she couldn’t. It’s much more offensive than Meredith realizes. I’m surprised DeLuca doesn’t just jump into the beautiful body of water they’ve been staring out at. No one would blame him.

The second round of witnesses is stacked with heavy-hitters, but doesn’t go much better. Webber straight up lies about Meredith tampering with the Alzheimer’s trial those many moons ago, and instead takes all of the blame, and even still it becomes clear that Webber has spent much of his career bending the rules and covering for Meredith. It becomes especially clear when they call Patricia, Webber’s old administrative assistant, to the stand and she reveals that Meredith didn’t even match with Seattle Grace for residency initially — Webber called in a favor and got her a spot. Well, that’s some new and interesting information.

And then Alex is up. He says some very nice things about how Meredith makes him a better person and I am but a puddle, but it is followed by a line of questioning about how Meredith almost wrecked Zola’s adoption. Alex gets upset because he doesn’t think it’s relevant, but you know who does think Meredith’s cavalier attitude toward the law is relevant? Dr. Castello. He starts talking about Meredith using her daughter for insurance fraud and that is it for the Sit Still and Shut Up portion of the evening. Meredith goes off. How dare he sit up there and judge her when there’s no way he should have his license after what he did to Derek. Did I need flashbacks to the night Derek died? No. Was this scene gripping as hell? Uh, duh.